I’ve been asked about this again and again: “I’m a successful business person, more or less, so why do I need to think about forgiving past hurts?”
Well, it’s that “less” part that speaks volumes.
Too many people are content with less than their magnificent best.
Here are three bottom line questions you must answer:
Are you as successful (however you define) as you can or would like to be?
Do you sense something blocking your brilliance and your output?
Do you think you are in the creative flow of your life? (as some would say, are you in the zone?)
I’ve thought about and revisited these questions again and again. Recovering from a series of horrendous childhood events – sexual abuse, forced me to face the demons of my success and productivity. In a way, I’m grateful for my childhood because I went places – emotionally and psychologically – and figured some things out that I may never have had the need to think about.
Why people excel and how excess emotional baggage can limit success and creativity are topics I’ve learned a thing or two about – the research, the degrees, the depressions and lost income, the redemption and the salvation have all come together to release me and set me free.
Now I’m helping others to do the same thing; be released and freed up to be their true magnificent, successful self.
Let’s take a deeper look at why even a successful person would want to forgive past hurts.
The principle that connects forgiveness to productivity is Self-Efficacy.
Self-efficacy is about getting your work done….whatever that work is at a particular time in your life.
Taking care of and growing your business is a fundamental requirement for living. As adults we need to take care of our homes, our businesses and our communities.
How well we take care of things determines our state of mind. For some, a lack of productivity is a very painful place to be. Beating up oneself is common practice among those who procrastinate, for instance. There’s a feeling of failure that surrounds the inability to accomplish specific tasks.
What does this all lead to? Unfortunately reactions are not compartmentalized. They spill over into the rest of your life.
Bad feelings about not getting a specific project completed create more generalized bad feelings about other work that would otherwise be a breeze.
So suddenly what started as just an over-reaction to one task or project not getting accomplished, grows into a type of despondency and snow-balling that literally takes up too much space in your brain and in your life.
The key point of the self-efficacy principle is to get those things you deem important done. Get them done in a timely fashion.
Or else, you find yourself using up space in your brain and in your life that could be put to productive use elsewhere.
I was stuck in this pattern. Feeling bad because I was under-producing and of course, feeling bad about feeling bad! I had to go deeper and deeper to figure out why I was under-producing to get to the truth of the situation, not just the emotions of it all.
I kept coming back to a familiar place of psychic pain and often numbness.
So what did I do to get rid of that? All right answers pointed to:
go through it
and then release it!
I really wanted to be a forgiving person. My true faith in God was even in question, if I held on to the pain. I mean if I truly believe in the power of God or Love why would I be existing in a state of fear?
I wanted to release the baggage. All the research and spiritual insight demanded it but it wasn’t happening.
So what did I do? Started feeling bad and guilty about not forgiving. What a cycle of self-abuse!
Again, this act of not getting something done created another layer of negative emotion towards the act itself.
Instead of becoming motivated to accomplish this important forgiving action, I actually got demotivated. Interrupting this cycle was critical.
How do you interrupt a pattern of not taking an action? Nike was on to something:
Just do it!
You interrupt the negative emotional cycle by getting the thing done!!
This is the best way to re-allocate that space in your life and in your brain. Get the forgiveness out of the way (by DOING IT) and the negative emotions attached to the lack of a forgiving action on your part just melts away.
Also, the space that’s been used for memories of this pain, anger over the insult, outrage over the slight…imagine using this space for creative ideas, project development and for loving others!
Your energies will then be diverted towards projects and activities that bring lasting joy, prosperity and peace to your life. ***goose bumps*** You will be in harmony with the divine flow of creativity!
Now that’s self-efficacy.! Making yourself efficacious…making yourself productive.
Forgive a person and get productive…not just ‘ordinary’ productive but ‘outrageous’ productive!
You will produce at the magnificent level that matches your magnificent purpose in life!
There’s a causal relationship between forgiving and producing. Whether it’s producing great work or great play, or great love….when you release pain and guilt and bad memories, you create space for other wonderful things to get done. Here comes those goose bumps again!
So if you’d like to see a sudden spike in your productivity think about what you have not released, of what could be blocking your creativity pipes.
Forgive somebody today and watch your productivity soar!
Start small…anyone annoyed you today that you can practice with?
Have you had the experience of letting something go and then having a burst of creativity?
Share it here and help someone else make that leap today.
Do you think there are some exceptions, and not everything is forgivable?
In Light and With Love,