Prof. Gates and His Conditional Forgiveness

July 24, 2009

As I read about the recent incident with Prof Gates of Harvard University something he said jumped out at me. “Gates said he’d be prepared to forgive the arresting officer “if he told the truth” about what the scholar called “fabrications”in the police report.” See article here.
Since when do we wait for the truth to [...]

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My Top Five Myths About Forgiveness

July 17, 2009

Life experiences may train us to be comfortable with other states of existence, BUT when we are in our most healthy and balanced state, we WANT happiness, joy and success.
So when I consider why people CHOOSE to not forgive themselves and others when all facts, information and inclinations point in that direction, I have to [...]

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Top 11 Reasons to NOT Forgive

July 13, 2009

Some of these might sound funny (ish) but at one point or another, each one of them was said to me. And in most cases folks were deeply serious.

So, why aren’t you forgiving again?

I like being by yourself, really I do.
The offending person is dead, gone or just out of my life anyway
I’ve [...]

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Forgetting and Forgiving – Do they have to go together?

July 10, 2009

Archbishop Desmond Tutu once said,
“Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s actually remembering — remembering and not using your right to hit back.  It’s a second chance for a new beginning.  And the remembering part is particularly important.  Especially if you don’t want to repeat what happened.”
What would be the point of going through a horrific experience, [...]

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“I am so sorry for not being the person you met!”

July 7, 2009

This letter below hit a nerve.  When it was shared with me, I knew immediately that this experience of being one way in a relationship and then another is something many of us go through…from one perspective or another.
It’s not as intentional as it appears. Perhaps by reading this, you might see the behavior from [...]

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Loving you ALWAYS!

July 3, 2009

People profess deep and abiding love then life happens and forgiveness is out the window.  If I love you as I say I do…as Stevie has so beautifully phrased, then forgiving you is the deepest and most profound manifestation of that love!
And if you love me, you would forgive me.
Listen, sing and read with your [...]

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Where are you in your healing process?

July 1, 2009

I read a ‘Note” some time ago by a Facebook friend and it was thought provoking.  No, actually it was upsetting.
The writer suggested that because of the existence of eternal souls, when even a baby is sexually abused, the baby’s soul has somehow drawn the attack onto itself.   (The note said much more than this [...]

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