Hello My Friend,

Not being a forgiving person is probably the single most powerful answer to most if not all of our issues, pains and blocks.

We KNOW all there is to know about forgiveness I believe – the scriptures, the command to love each other, the benefits to our health, relationships, the power of its healing, yet, we struggle with the actual process of it. We also know that we are totally blocking our blessings from God if we are withholding forgiveness from others. The “Our Father” prayer in Mathew makes in very clear; Mathew 6: 9 -14.

How could we ask for something we are refusing to give? How could we ask for blessings and for our heart’s desires if we are withholding such a basic proof of our love for Him and for each other.

I think we don’t realize that our indifference, coldness, denial, selective memory, judgments, being stuck, silent treatments, unproductivity, lack of creativity, lack of faith and courage, being “down” for no good reason, low energy, etc, etc…are in fact evidence of un-forgiveness and our refusal to release the baggage.

When we refuse to release it all, we are BLOCKING OUR BLESSINGS.

What are we doing with all this knowledge about forgiveness? Are we becoming more forgiving? Or are we becoming more guilty?

Here’s what I suggest: Let us focus less on “doing forgiveness” and more on BEING forgiving. Let us focus on cultivating a forgiving mindset – one where we are even offended less and less and when we are it is not something to pray over, it just happens because it is who we are. We ARE forgiving, period. Let us BE forgiving, in our hearts, thoughts, soul, spirit and emotions…and the actions will follow. Let us focus on BEing more like Jesus – or your spiritual guide of choice; and on the heart of God as opposed to the hand of God. Let us BE and the Doing will flow…

Take a look at these 7 possible explanations of what is stopping you from forgiving…

“What is Stopping You From Forgiving?”

A writing exercise for you to reflect on what might be at the core of you not forgiving as quickly, freely and as deeply as you would like

Write a sentence or 2 about how each of the following might apply to you:

1) Not accepting God’s love and forgiveness (and as a result, those who love and forgive me are blocked as well)

2) Not forgiving myself (which means no one else can be forgiven)

3) Being unhealed about earlier violations

4) Fear of being hurt again

5) A Lack of Humility

6) Too little faith – to let God handle it, completely

7) Thinking/believing I forgave when I really haven’t


Share your answers with a trusted guide or friend, pray and meditate on who you are – truly and deeply, minus all the baggage we pile upon our wonderful selves and then, watch the miracles flow. Forgiving is nothing short of a miracle maker! :-)


Wishing an abundance of peace, joy and love,

Julette Millien



Hello My Friend,

Life lessons are everywhere and in everything. They’re in joyful experiences as well as – and perhaps even more so, in painful ones. They’re in mistakes and triumphs; in games and in gardens. Is it a stretch to say that life lessons are to us what water is to fish? That sounds about right to me, actually.

I remember distinctly when the lesson called “Do it NOW” or “Do NOT Procrastinate” was delivered to me a few years back, like water in the face for about the 100th time in my life. I remember this lesson vividly. ["Getting" a life lesson once is no guarantee you won't (need to) get again in the future!]

Today when I was tempted to put some things off, I remembered and got busy ‘”doing” instead of “feeling.” I thought you would be blessed by this reminder.

This is what I wrote about this critical life-lesson a few years ago:

This morning I looked at a bench in my front yard that needs repair.

A few summers ago it had a tiny, very tiny hole in the seat covering. I remember looking at it and thinking I “should” get some patching stuff and fix that up. Well, I didn’t.

This morning it grabbed my attention because it looked so horrible. It’s almost completely torn apart, with the ugly, dirty sponge material sticking out from its once safe and dry place. No longer safe and dry, this seat covering is now garbage.

What would have cost us a few pennies to repair is now a purchase in the hundreds!

As I walked past it, a life lesson jumped up and out!

Do it TODAY!

Whatever is being put off, the pile of filing, the health issue, the slightly damaged relationship, the under-performing employee, forgiving someone, the signs of a bad habit in your child, etc, etc…WHATEVER matters to you, attend to it today! It WILL get worse if the work isn’t done to repair, make amends, guide behavior, give feedback, etc. If it’s important to you today, it’ll be important to you later, only then it will be in worse shape requiring even more attention.

Things and relationships do not fix themselves!

Yes, time heals and time sometimes has a positive impact on an issue – if there’s anger and a need to cool off for instance; it surely will be better to put off handling a matter. Why create a situation where forgiveness will be required? Just wait for cooler heads to prevail.

But that is NOT what I’m talking about here. Damaged items, bad behaviors and strained relationships cannot get better without our intervention. And sometimes, like in the case of my poor bench seat, the time, energy and money needed to remedy a situation is minuscule compared to what you end up having to put out. And even more sadly, sometimes – as I’m sure you have heard a story about this happening – people get ill, leave or die before handling their business; or before we handle our business with them.

Since this moment – this one RIGHT HERE – is all we are sure to have, we should take action and make sure to do those things that are important and require attention.

So do what needs to be done today. Tomorrow you will be thrilled with yourself!

Actually, today will be pretty nice too! :-)

Wishing you an abundance of peace, productivity and joy,

Julette Millien

photo credit: L-T-L via photopin cc


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